This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize