No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
