Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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