sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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