I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Randomize
