they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
