You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
