I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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