sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
