found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
