we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
