New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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