But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
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would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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