What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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