I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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