I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
