I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
