Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
