Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
