I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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