nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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