I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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