why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
