i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
