I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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