I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize