It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
3 2 1 whiskey
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I party with great urgency now.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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