so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
