walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
