miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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