I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
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