Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
