i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
