My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
