Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
