Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
