A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
