Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
high people should be assigned attendants
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
