oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
