i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
