it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize