Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
