can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
