Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
