In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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