we have officially mastered the walk of shame
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
