Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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