i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
