I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
