hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize