I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
