ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
