i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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