I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
