it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
