I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
