Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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