I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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