IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Success! We fucked roommates!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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