it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
