I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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