If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Drunk is not a location!
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
