love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
