It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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