So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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