I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
