I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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