Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
