what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
