If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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